Top Five Mismatched Celebrity Couples
September 28, 2006 by Wendy Boswell
There’s some celebrity couples that make you want to find a puppy, watch a sunset, or play with unicorns whilst eating bonbons under a starry sky. And then there’s the Other Couples – you know, the ones that make you want to find a quiet spot to toss your cookies. Here are the top five mismatched celebrity couples (with pics!)
Britney Spears and Kevin Federline:
This couple is straight outta the trailer park. Every time I see them together in public, I feel like I need to wash my brain out with anti-bacterial soap. While we appreciate Kevin’s efforts to (apparently) single-handedly repopulate his corner Quik-Mart, maybe he could leave BritBrit alone long enough so she could get her career and/or self-worth back on track.
Star Jones and Al Reynolds
You can say all you want about Star Jones – her annoying habit of interrupting anyone who’s talking in the same hemisphere, her Payless shoes ads, her monster wedding, etc. – but you can’t say that she doesn’t know how to pick a gay husband.
Bobby Brown and Whitney Houston
Yeah, I know that they’re getting divorced, but I have to give props to almost 14 years of WTF, Bobby and Whitney-style. Anyone who actually has to point out that "crack is wack" probably is not going to get the marriage of the year award…unless, unbeknownst to me, crack has somehow become the new "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus?"
Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore
Oh, yeah, "great love of my life" aside, this pairing has squeeked me out for a while now. Honestly. I’m trying to figure out what Demi sees in this guy, and so far, I haven’t figured it out.
"Jules, y’know, honey… this isn’t real. You know what it is? It’s St. Elmo’s Fire. Electric flashes of light that appear in dark skies out of nowhere. Sailors would guide entire journeys by it, but the joke was on them… there was no fire. There wasn’t even a St. Elmo. They made it up. They made it up because they thought they needed it to keep them going when times got tough, just like you’re making up all of this. We’re all going through this. It’s our time at the edge."
Okay, NOW these two make sense. Thanks, St. Elmo’s Fire!
Marilyn Manson and Dita von Teese
This one is just so silly it’s not even funny. Total publicity stunt from start to finish. Plus, if your wife likes to get her jollies stripping in front of men inside a giant champagne glass, you might be stupid and/or The Most Brilliant Man Alive.
Got any other mismatched celebrity couples? Leave your thoughts in the comments!
Tags: celebrity couples
Well, on the upside I feel way superior about my own marriage now.
Justin Hottie Timberlake and Cameron Zits Diaz
Dita Von Teese and Marilyn Manson are perfectly suited for each other! What they both do is ART, and they both create their own ART in their own ways. Congratulations to them for finding each other in the incredably ART-less world of ‘Hollywood’.
Von Teese and Manson are so perfectly matched…I was shocked about the divorce. Fair enough, he drinks too much and partys alot, but his wife’s a stripper anyway! Two uniquely bizarre and beautiful people. Could you imagine them with anyone else?
Love the Star Jones comments – that is right on! I’d love to know your predictions about Brad & Angelina.
Well Manson and Dita are done. So they must have been perfect for each other.