The Top Five UNSEXIEST Women
October 12, 2007 by Wendy Boswell
Maxim has decided that the following five women basically look like feet:
Where You´ve Seen Her Unsexy: Filling chicken-grease-stained sweatpants on the cover of every trashy tabloid and gossip blog on the Internet
Why She´s Unsexy: Less than five years ago, Britney had a python wrapped around her well-toned torso onstage at the VMAs. Since then, she´s lost the ability to perform, but gained two kids, two useless ex-husbands, and about 23 pounds of Funyun pudge.
Madonna
Where You´ve Seen Her Unsexy: On tour, at the Wailing Wall, in the pharmacy´s menopause aisle
Why She´s Unsexy: After building a personal fortune on Top 40 pornography, Madonna traded pioneering sexuality for, like other old Jewish women, self-righteous bellyaching and rapid postnuptial deterioration. Combine a Paris Hilton–like pet accessorizing fetish only for dirt-poor foreign babies with a mug that looks Euro-sealed to her skull, and you´ve got Willem Dafoe with hot flashes.
Sandra Oh
Where You´ve Seen Her Unsexy: Grey´s Anatomy
Why She´s Unsexy: The only thing worse than a show about doctors is a show about sappy chick doctors we´re forced to watch or else our girlfriends won´t have sex with us. We´re holding Dr. McSkinny, with her cold bedside manner and boyish figure, personally responsible.
2. Amy Winehouse (Sorry, Sweetness.. )
Where You´ve Seen Her Unsexy: Onstage, offstage, and in the tabloids after cleaving herself and her husband
Why She´s Unsexy: When we first heard this chick boast about her reluctance to go to rehab we thought, Now there´s a girl we can party with! But upon beholding her openly hemorrhaging translucent skin, rat´s nest mane and lashes that look more like surgically attached bats, we were the ones screaming, “Nooo, nooo, nooo!”
Sarah Jessica Parker
Where You´ve Seen Her Unsexy: Sex and the City, Failure to Launch, Honeymoon in Vegas
Why She´s Unsexy: How the hell did this Barbaro-faced broad manage to be the least sexy woman in a group of very unsexy women and still star on a show with “sex” in the title? Pull your skirt down, Secretariat, we´d rather ride Chris Noth.
Uh, I don’t agree with Sarah Jessica Parker, but the rest I do. What do you think?
I agree with the 1st 4 but SJ Parker I think is classy and lovely and great and Sexy!
I don’t agree with SJ Parker and Sandra OH
yes. agree with cristine. but i think the worst is amy winehouse. hate her so much!!!
I agree with the list, but the order is quite off.
Sarah Jessica Parker isn’t the prettiest thing on earth, but she’s no where near as bad as these four. Hell, I’m more disgusted with Cynthia Nixon’s character on the show. The thought of her having sex turns my stomach – though she doesn’t look terribly scary anywhere but Sex and the City.
Too funny… why did they stop at 5. Poetic justice for all the time I’ve lost watching pathetic shows like “Sex in The City” and McGoofball.
Thank god for ex’s….. isn’t single life grand
)))))
Imo Sarah Jessica Parker wasn’t voted “unsexiest” due to her looks but due to her role in “Sex and the city”. The character reveals the weaknesses and sore spots of men. That’s why many men feel unmasked and hate her.
The people at Maxim who came up with this list are jerks. jeez take a bad pic of SJP or Sandra and all of a sudden they’re “unsexy.”
I guess I could see what they meant by voting on Amy Winehouse, but that is a really unflattering picture of her.
I can see Britney’s unsesxyiness, she’s definitely hit the wall.
I completely agree with Parkers’ placement at #1. I’ve never understood how or why she ever got movie roles. I’m guessing she has a family member in casting or producing. She has never taken any heat when so many more attractive girls have. SJP is hideous, men everywhere agree. Kudos to Broderick, he must have an active imagination or a plethora of paper bags.
i dont think any of them are unsexy…people who come up with ideas like this are stupid, because all it does is put people down…about britney i love her and its not her fault that the media(and everyone else)has screwed her over leave her alone i think she is amazing.madonna, i mean look at her as far as her age she is awesome, and probably one of the best dressers ever. as far as sandra what is sexier then a woman who seems like she can kick your ass? amy…i would love to party with her…and sarah jessica parker…have you seen her body its amazing.
I totally agree that SJP should be number 1 on the unsexiest list. She looks like a horse!! One of the ugliest women. Also she doesn’t have a good body either, she’s all bone.
The only reason people must think shes attractive is because the media calls her ‘fabulous’, i don’t understand why.