Julia Roberts kind of made me throw up in my mouth a little bit just now

Actually, I lurve me some Julia Roberts, she’s my favorite actress of all time, but even this was laid on a bit thick for me:

Four months after welcoming her third child and two weeks before turning 40, Julia Roberts says she has “all I could ever ask for.”

“More than anything I am just the most proud wife and mother to three of the most amazing children,” she said Friday night at an event in her honor. “And the widening of my life, and my hips, is really just the true gift of my husband Danny (Moder), who I would be so lonely without.”

A-listers Tom Hanks, Denzel Washington, Bruce Willis, Shirley MacLaine, and Natalie Portman toasted and roasted Roberts as the American Cinematheque paid tribute to her contribution to film in a black-tie ceremony at the Beverly Hilton.

“You do an extraordinary job, extraordinarily well,” Washington told the crowd as he presented the actress with her award. Recounting a time Roberts was asked for a lyric which best described her, he recalled, “[You] said the line in the Bruce Springsteen song ‘Thunder Road’ where the Boss says, ‘You ain’t a beauty, but you’re all right.’ Well Julia, beauty may fade, may fade, but all right lasts forever.”

Besides her screen moments, the event honored her roles as wife and mother. Hanks recounted the things you learn after working with Roberts: “Knowledge that no matter how good of shape you are in, no matter how good of a haircut you are sporting, Julia Roberts is, at the end of the day, going home to a husband way better looking than you will ever be.”

As Hanks said, “Everybody loves Julia, everybody, everybody,” Moder put his arm around his wife, smiling and nodding in agreement.

Sitting at the center table of the dining room, the Pretty Woman star was moved to tears and laughter throughout the speeches and movie clips.

Taking the stage at the end of the night, the overwhelmed new mom grabbed her chest joking, “Is there a hungry baby in the house? Come on up!”

The Julia Roberts American Cinematheque Tribute will air on AMC on Dec. 5.

So, let me ask you this. Is there basically a committee somewhere in Hollywood where they draw names out of a hat and decide to hold completely meaningless award ceremonies designed to give out arbitrary awards to each other? I have a feeling that there is.

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