Tom and Katie Christmas card, Jodie Foster is almost gay, Sex and the City movie trailer, Brad Pitt has a small peen? and more

December 7, 2007 by Wendy Boswell

Gosh, I love that picture. Well, howdy Snarky fans! How are you today? Are you sick of Christmas music yet? Because I kind of am. Actually, I’m sick of KIDS Christmas music, which in our house consists of Alvin and the Chipmunks, Princess Ariel singing Jingle Bells, and some wacky Gingerbread Man thing we picked up at the dollar store. Also, we got the tree put last night, and I must say it looks mahvelous – no beetles so far. Cats have been circling warily around it and the dog is absolutely FASCINATED by the thing, which I’m sure does not bode well. Anyway – on to the gossip!

See that? That’s the official Tom and Katie Christmas card. It’s actually pretty cute, if you ask me….apparently Katie designed them herself. Notice how she signed it as “Kate” rather than “Katie”? Interesting. – source

Next! GUESS WHAT!! It’s the Sex and the City movie trailer! GAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Comes out Spring 2008 and you can bet your sweet bippy I will be first in line.

Next: Jodie Foster is THIS CLOSE (see my fingers making the this close sign?) to publicly acknowledging what many people have speculated for years: that she is a stone cold foxy lesbian. Here’s what she said in a recent acceptance speech:

Toward the end of her remarks, Jodie thanked those nearest and dearest to her. Among them was “my beautiful Cydney who sticks with me through all the rotten and the bliss.” Since she has always been so intensely private, I was surprised at the public acknowledgment of who I presume is Cydney Bernard, the woman who is widely reported to be her life partner.

– source

Well, more power to her – hopefully we won’t have to endure a frigging Barbara Walters special about this in the near future. I can’t stand that woman. Next, Juliette Lewis might be crazy, she MIGHT have no career whatsoever, but she DOES know how to dish on former lovah Brad Pitt.
After playing a rockin’ set with her band at club Chop Suey in Seattle… Juliette Lewis – who was hot ‘n heavy with hunky Brad Pitt back in the Stoned Age – was mingling at the bar when a wiseguy fan blurted: “Hey, Juliette, how was Brad Pitt in the sack anyway?” Stunned for a second, she flashed a mischievous grin and purred: “He was no… BIG deal, if ya know what I mean!” As Juliette turned to head back on stage, the guy yelled: “Are you saying Brad was the PITTS?” Juliette started laughing so hysterically she banged into a table and sent everyone’s drinks flying – but quickly ordered a round on her and hopped back onstage, still giggling. – source

Uh, Juliette? Don’t ruin my perfectly wonderful fantasy of Brad Pitt as a man stallion, okay? A true friend wouldn’t do that. Next: could someone PLEASE feed Keira Knightley before her clavicle pops out and smacks her in the eyeball?

She’s so pretty but she just looks like you could snap her right in half. Next: my Kiefer, my Keifer Sutherland, is currently in jail serving a 48 day sentence for drunk driving. Let me tell you how I feel about this:

1) The city of Los Angeles once named a street after Jack Bauer in gratitude for his saving the city several times. They had to rename it after people kept dying when they tried to cross the street. No one crosses Jack Bauer and lives.
2) Most people would need months to recover from 20 months of Chinese interrogation. Jack Bauer needs a shower, a shave and a change of clothes.
3) Professor Charles Xavier from X-Men once tried to read Jack Bauer’s mind. Now he’s sitting in a wheel chair.
4) Some people see the glass as half full. Others see it as half empty. Jack Bauer see the glass as a deadly weapon.
5) When bad things happen to good people, its probably fate. When bad things happen to bad people, it’s probably Jack Bauer.

See that? Yeah. That’s what I’m sayin’. Next: I want you to prepare yourselves for the horror, the absolute TERROR, that is Lisa Marie Presley and Priscilla Presley.

Did they decide to go out as matching twin tweakers? I’m thinking yes. Elvis does not approve. – source