Janice Dickinson calls Tyra Banks a fatty, Vick is busted, Britney Spears steals AGAIN, and more

Hola, gossip junkies! How are you on this fine Monday? So guess what: two of my cats had a VERY special relationship building moment last night right in front of us as we were watching “Mission Impossible 3″. Oh, yes. What is this love of which I speak? Let me give you a hint:

Awww, yeah! Chica chica row row! At first I couldn’t figure out what they were doing but then I was like OH MY GOD. I have to admit we, uh, kinda let them go at it for a while but then it just got awkward. Anyway, on to the reason you’re here…I’m pretty sure it’s not just for cat humping stories (but if it is, please seek help IMMEDIATELY).

First, Sean Penn got himself heckled at some political thingy:

Next, Janice Dickinson hauled off and called Tyra Banks a fatty. Honestly, is she insane? Doesn’t she KNOW that Ty-Ty will totally give her a smackdown? Here be the summary:

The Today Show is not one to miss an opportunity to show off the Jennifer Love Hewitt bikini pictures.

They continued the streak today by inviting Janice Dickinson, the self-described first supermodel, and discussed whether a size 2 is fat. Janice defended Hewitt, called her “healthy” and “not emaciated.” She continued, “You want to see someone who’s fat, I’m sorry, Tyra, Tyra Banks is fat.” Banks used to be Dickinson’s boss in the early seasons of “America’s Next Top Model” and has herself been the subject of unflattering bathing suit photos.

After she was confronted by Al Roker about the remark, she sort of backed off, but it’s unclear if she was being genuine.

– source

O rly? Janice Dickinson not being genuine? Why, color me shocked. I sense a long drawn-out response show from Tyra Banks on this one – sigh. Ooh! Guess what I found! It’s the new Indiana Jones poster! SQWEEEEE!!!
Here’s the latest information on the movie:

“Indy’s a fallible character. He makes mistakes and gets hurt. He has a few more aches and pains now,” Marshall says. “That’s the other thing people like: He’s a real character, not a character with superpowers.”

The Nazis are no longer Indy’s chief foe — he’s racing for the Crystal Skull against operatives from the Soviet Union, including Oscar winner Cate Blanchett as the seductive Agent Spalko. “Indy always has a love-hate relationship with every woman he ever comes in contact with,” Marshall says.

Ray Winstone, currently the star of Beowulf, co-stars as an unethical rival archaeologist. Transformers star Shia LaBeouf sports greaser hair and rides a motorcycle as the hero’s sidekick.

The Last Crusade concluded without a cliffhanger, but Crystal Skull will revisit bits from other films, including Karen Allen’s feisty Marion Ravenwood from 1981’s Raiders of the Lost Ark.

– source I can not WAIT for this movie to come out; I’ve seen the three Indiana Jones movies so many times I could probably quote them to you in my sleep.

Next: dogs all over the world rejoice as Michael Vick gets 23 months for dogfighting. Here’s some information about what he was doing – it’s pretty graphic.

Electrocution, drowning and strangulation were the preferred forms of death, execution-style, by human hands. They were not culled for “sport” — this was torture for some sort of sadistic human “pleasure.”..A line of 20 kennels looks like a string of prison cells. In a two-story building, three squares of blood-spattered floorboard are missing after being sawed out for evidence. Upstairs, where fights were staged, window blinds now are open. No sun shines through. Small, scattered dog houses are chewed and mangled. Abandoned chain-link pens are filled with leaves. A shed is the birthing house. A rape stand mentioned in the indictment is nowhere to be found. A car axle stands in the dirt. Weightlifting plates dogs were forced to pull on chains in a “merry-go-round” training technique to build power lay nearby.

– source Yep, 23 months sounds about right – along with some kind of electric shock if he EVER gets near any kind of animal again. What a douche.

Yikes, let’s move on to something else….like the daily Seriously, What The F*%&, Britney Spears moment!
Now what’s our little Cheez Doodle gone and done now? Well, she shoplifted a cigarette lighter.

Though she certainly has the ability to buy whatever she wants, for some reason, Britney Spears decided to steal a disposable lighter from gas station last night — and brag about to the cameras! The popwreck spent most of her day driving the paparazzi around in circles. When she decided to stop at a Van Nuys gas station for some gum, she doubled back for a lighter — and just snatched it off a display. Gimme dis lighter! We’d like to say Britney “forgot” to pay for it, but then she turned to the cameras and yelled, “I stole something. Oh, I’m bad. Ohhhhh!”

– source

Oh, and that’s not all. She also cussed out some paparazzi:

Honestly, she has to know how pathetic she has become, right? I mean, anyone with a grain of common sense…uh, well, hmmm. The whole thing with the paparazzi is ridiculous, because the paps should KNOW better, but then again, it’s like she must realize that her presence anywhere is going to cause this kind of commotion. Gah, it frustrates me. Moving on.

David Arquette has reportedly given wife Courtney Cox an ultimatum: it’s either him or Jennifer Aniston. Apparently there was not a third option of “neither.”

David Arquette has reportedly given wife Courteney Cox an ultimatum – it’s “me or Jennifer Aniston”.

Courteney and Jennifer have been virtually inseparable since meeting on hit US TV show ‘Friends’ 13 years ago, but now David has had enough of sharing his wife with her best pal and has issued Courteney with some ground rules.

A source said: “Somewhat understandably, David’s now saying it’s him or Jennifer. He’s had enough and is drawing a line in the sand. He’s asking that Jennifer’s visits become less frequent and that there are no phone calls between midnight and 8am.”

Jennifer is said to spend almost every US public holiday with the couple, including Thanksgiving, and has also started calling Courteney for midnight chats from the set of her new movie ‘Management’ in Oregon.

Jennifer – who was supported through her divorce from Brad Pitt and split from Vince Vaughn by Courteney – even joined the couple on a recent break to Hawaii, which David had hoped would be a romantic getaway.

Another source added: “David is now telling friends that it feels like he is married to two women.

“He likes Jennifer but, since she’s been single, she and Courteney spend so much time together that it’s no surprise he’s feeling left out.”

Who calls between midnight and 8 AM? I would be pissed if my friends were calling then, because you just KNOW at that time of night it’s all about the drunk-dialin’, baby.

What else we got: Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher took in a John Mayer concert:

Kevin Federline got his party on:

Britney Spears got all gussied up, Whore Style, for a visit to posh hotel Four Seasons:

And Christina Aguilera is looking too cute for words at her baby shower:

via jjb, source, source

That’s pretty much it for today. Let’s watch one last video together before we have to go back to work:

I’m sorry, I love those damn cats. See you tomorrow, Snarky friends!!!