Jessica Alba is pregnant, Coco is Classy, Britney Spears skips her deposition, and more

Good Wednesday, Snarky fans! So I have to tell you that I have FINALLY found a Christmas song that I do not like. That song is “All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth.” It’s the older version, the one where the kid whistles like every 3 seconds? Yeah, that one. It instantly makes my skin break out, that’s how stressful it is to me. Anyway, on to the gossip.

First, the big news that Jessica Alba is pregnant:
“I can confirm that Jessica and Cash are expecting a baby in late spring, early summer,” says rep Brad Cafarelli. Alba, 26, has dated Warren, 28, since the fall of 2004 after they met on the set of The Fantastic Four, on which Warren was a director’s assistant. – source This one was kind of a shocker; do you think she will get married to him? And how many pregnant celebs can we possibly have at one time in Hollywood – isn’t there some kind of quota?

Next: the daily Seriously, What The F*&%, Britney Spears? moment!
Britney Spears was a no show at a scheduled deposition in her ongoing child custody dispute with ex-husband Kevin Federline. A throng of news media and paparazzi was waiting for the pop megastar to show up at 10 a.m. Wednesday at attorney Mark Vincent Kaplan’s office. Shortly after 11 a.m., Kaplan, Federline’s attorney, said he had been informed that Spears was not coming. Kaplan said he was told Spears didn’t feel well and that she would give her court-ordered deposition at a later date. – source

She was SICK?!?! Give me a fricking break! Man, the day this woman actually starts acting like a responsible adult is the day when monkeys fly out of my butt, apparently. But wait – was the reason she was “sick” was because she….wait for it….eloped? God help us all. Check out the cover of Star magazine:

Super. JUST super. Good Sweet Buttered Moses. Okay, moving on to something so much more healthy: Uma Thurman!

There she is in Harper’s Bazaar; here’s a little quote:

On life and turning 40: “‘Watch out, you might not have a career in your 20s,’ so you scoot along and have some dark, down years. Suddenly, you get a career back and it’s ‘Watch out, in your 30s it’s going to be over.’ And God forbid you have a child. I remember telling an agent I was going to have a baby, and he said, ‘Oh, that’s great for you, but don’t even think about the business.’ Just so blatant!No one’s brought up the 40 thing with me lately, but I’m sure the prognosis is going to be doom and gloom. But no decade has been disastrous, and I’ve gotten away with murder anyway.”

– source

I LURVE her; even though the only thing I’ve seen her in is Kill Bill. Here’s a little clip:

Best fight in the movie; I remember watching this in the theater just in awe at the cinematography. HA! Listen to me like I know what I’m talking about. Geez. Next: we’ve got a little dose of glamor, class, and good taste for you:

Who IS this vision of glamor? Why, it’s none other than Coco, at the premiere of Will Smith’s new movie “I Am Legend.” She is surely boobalicious. – source

Also at the premiere: Will Smith, Jada Pinkett-Smith, and Tom Cruise. I can’t believe how beautiful Jada Pinkett-Smith looks here.

And that is about it, folks. My dog is looking at me with hope that I will take him for a walk:

So I’m gonna take off. Until Thursday, I leave you with this little gem: Amy Winehouse’s 12 Days of Christmas:

Talk to you later, poppets!