Snarky Gossip

Most overpaid celebrities, Tom Cruise’s turn-ons, Liza Minnelli, Tony cheats on Eva, and more

by Wendy on December 13th, 2007

O hai there Snarky fans! How are you on this fine Thursday. Lil Kim there says hello…she also wants you to know that she’s wearing about $10K worth of wintery gear on her back. Just so you know. And amazingly, she still looks trashy…could it be those huge eyebrows? The big, badly drawn eyebrows? How do you even look in the mirror and think those are okay?

Anyway, let’s get to the gossip, because there is a LOT. First, Forbes has come out with a list of the most overpaid celebrities. Surprisingly, Russell Crowe topped the list:

For every dollar he was paid for movies like Master & Commander and Cinderella Man, his films earned a measly $5. Don’t fret for Crowe, though. He’s already making inroads that should advance him up next year’s list thanks to his newly released hit American Gangster–excluded from our calculations–which cost $100 million to make, yet has already earned $173 million worldwide at the box office, according to Box Office Mojo. And, of course, DVD sales have yet to be factored in.

- source

Nicole Kidman was also on the list, especially with her current flop The Golden Compass; apparently it went into the Lord of the Rings budget territory and hasn’t come back with much of a return. What? You mean a movie about FIGHTING POLAR BEARS might not be super popular? Who’d have thunk it.

Next we have Katie Holmes talking about Tom Cruise’s turn-ons. Really, something I didn’t really want to know.

“Tom likes me in a suit and a mini every now and then. I like it when he likes it. It makes me blush. He’ll say, ‘You look good. I hope security’s going with you.’ Now that gives me attitude.”

- source

So I’m confused - when he says he hopes security is going with her, does that mean he thinks she might get mobbed because of how hot she is? Someone needs to explain that to me. Next: Liza Minnelli collapsed on stage last night:

Liza Minnelli collapsed on stage during a performance in Sweden and was rushed back to the United States for medical treatment, concert organizers said Thursday.

The singer was performing in a Christmas show Wednesday in Goteborg, Sweden’s second biggest city, but collapsed as she walked off stage after finishing her fourth song, said Zlakto Nedanovski, a spokesman for the concert’s organizers.

“As she walked down the steps, she passed out. She was taken immediately to her hotel where a doctor was waiting,” Nedanovski told The Associated Press.

- source

Yeah, she’s nuts, but best wishes. She probably has the dreaded David Gest syndrome:

Yep, that would make me pass out years afterwards too. Next: there be a scandal a-brewing with Eva Longoria and Tony Parker:

Here’s the scoop:

A model claims that Tony Parker cheated on wife Eva Longoria with her in September. Alexandra Paressant told x17online.com that she was a guest at his July 7 wedding and that the basketball player, 25, looked at her with a wandering eye. They were eventually introduced to each other by mutual friend, soccer player Thierry Henry, she said.

But it wasn’t until September 29 that Paressant claims she and Parker began exchanging sexually explicit text messages and phone calls while Parker was in Paris at the Park Hyatt Hotel.

They then slept together, she said, and continued seeing each other night after night in Paris until he left to San Antonio a short time later.

“We had room service. He said that Eva, sexually speaking, does not want to do certain things,” she said.

“She does not want to make love in front of a mirror, does not like [a] certain position and thinks that sperm gives acne.”

She told x17 that Parker felt obligated to wed Longoria, 32, because “everybody has to get married at a point, but [for him] it is still time to enjoy life.”

When asked if Longoria knew about the fling, Paressant said, “I don’t think she knew about it. She seems quite jealous.”

- source

Wait - she thinks spermies gives acne? Those innocent little spermies? Huh. Well, let’s get a picture of the ho in question; her name is Alexandra Paressant:

So here’s a question for you: are there ANY sports stars that can keep it in their pants? Any? Because seriously, this is so getting out of hand. Gross. Next: David Hasselhoff is apparently trying to drink himself to death; he’s showed up in the hospital TWICE in three days with alcohol poisoning.

Troubled TV star David Hasselhoff was taken to hospital suffering alcohol poisoning twice in three days, according to reports.

The 55-year-old former Baywatch star, who has battled alcoholism for years, checked himself into Los Angeles’ Cedars Sinai Medical Center on 3 December and again on 5 December, following drinking binges - his fourth hospitalisation in two months. The National Enquirer claims he was diagnosed with severe alcohol poisoning on both occasions.

- source

How drunk do you have to be to get that shitfaced where you have to be hospitalized TWICE in THREE DAYS. Well, just for giggles, let’s watch the Hoff in action:

From bad to worse - apparently, Marilyn Manson’s mother keeps his FORESKIN in a jar in her home. I’m not kidding you.

Marilyn Manson is hoping to one day make a fortune from a childhood souvenir - his foreskin. The shock rocker’s mother, Barb Warner, has long been rumored to have kept the foreskin from his circumcision in a small jar - and Manson admits it is all true, even joking about the potential value of such an item.
He says, “It’s in more of a contact lens case, kind of like a shriveled up Lifesaver . If she ever came here, she would wave it around. We’re hoping Sotheby’s one day.”

-source Is there anything tasteful, classy, or even fit for human consumption that we can write about this guy? I don’t think I’ve ever read anything about him that causes me to think that he’s any sort of a normal person that you could just hang out with. How about you?

Ooh! Do you know what time it is? It’s time for the daily Seriously, What The F*$&, Britney Spears? moment!

For pete’s sake, what has she done to herself now? Well, yesterday she was too sick to attend her hearing, but she certainly was NOT too sick to drive around at 2 AM to various gas stations showing off her dye-stained hands. Way to GO, BritBrit! I’m sure we can all learn quite a valuable lesson from the example you are setting.

Next: I shouldn’t really be giggling at this one, but I can’t help myself. Last night, Naomi Campbell was assaulted by an overzealous fan at the Led Zeppelin comeback concert:

Apparently the fan really wanted her VIP pass around her neck and just decided to rip it off her neck, but he almost choked her. Why didn’t she fight back? She didn’t have her patented Slap A Ho Phone!

When in doubt, rip that sucka out, Naomi. Last, but not least, Will Smith wants everyone to know that the fact he is a raging horndog kept him off the wacky tobacky:
Will Smith has credited his sex obsession with keeping him away from drugs as a teenager.
The 39-year-old star has maintained his aversion to alcohol and drugs throughout his life, and he steered clear of addictions in his younger days by spending every waking moment fantasizing about women.
He says, “Through my teenage years I was too focused on sex to even think about any other vices. I’m much the same now. No drugs and only the occasional drink.” Exsqueeze me - you were FORCED to think about sex? I don’t think there’s a man alive that is thinking about sex without being forced….well, except maybe this guy:

Well, that’s about it for today; I’m going to go get my hair done and it’s sure to be a disaster, it usually is, but I live in hope. Until tomorrow, I leave you with this:

See you Friday my loverlies!

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POSTED IN: A World Of No, AWESOME, Actors, Actresses, Awkward Moments, BOOBIES!, Britney Spears, Busted!, Celebrity Couples, Hot Mess, Hotness of the Day, Ignorant Slut, Singers