Afternoon gossip with a slice of lemon

Oh, yeah – P.F. Chang’s, baby! Lettuce wraps and then some honey chicken….mmmmm, good. The only downside was that our server had a big old muffin top; I wouldn’t ordinarily be telling you that except uh, well, she had decided to show us her muffin top complete with her extra special beige control top underpants. I really wanted to tell her that this wasn’t a really good look, but she didn’t seem too overly concerned.

On to the gossip! First, Delta Burke is crazy.

My Name is Delta Burke, and I Am a Nutball

Oh, I’m just kidding. Kind of. Anyway, Delta had to get herself to the mental ward this month basically because her drugs stopped working, they were working too good, or I don’t know, something like that. I wasn’t paying attention. Anyway, she apparently had – has? – a big old hoarding problem, which is where you save everything, and I do mean EVERYTHING. She had 27 frigging storage units! Damn! Girl is nutty as a fruitcake, but she’s supporting local businesses, so I can’t be too mad at her. She’s boosting the economy!

Next: somebody’s gonna get themselves some hep.

Is Hepatitis A the New Black?

Now this is too funny. Demi Moore threw her toy boy Ashton a big old bash for his 30th birthday party, and tons of people were there: Bruce Willis, Salma Hayek, Madonna, Lucy Liu, Kate Hudson, Molly Sims, Liv Tyler, Gwyneth Paltrow, Eric Dane, his wife Rebecca Gayheart and designer Roberto Cavalli, etc. Turns out that the night they were there, the dreaded Hepatitis A virus was also in attendance:

Today, the New York City Health Department said a bartender at Socialista might have passed hepatitis A to club patrons early this month. The bartender only worked on three nights when he might have been infectious, but one of those nights — Feb. 7 — was the night of Kutcher’s party.

– source

Okay, I know that Hep A is no fun, but OH. MY GAWD. I would seriously cough up a lung laughing if one of these yayhoos came down with this. Yes, this shows that I’m sometimes not a very nice person, but nobody’s perfect.

Next! Who else is in love with the LAPD Chief of Police? Because I am.

LAPD to Britney Spears: Stay Home, Retard

So how much do you love this man? Here’s what he had to say to BritBrit today:

What we need is Britney Spears to stay home instead of traipsing all over town. That would solve the problem. We don’t need additional laws…. I’ve got laws coming out my ears to deal with this issue.

[skip]

What you have is several young women in this town and several young men basically making fools of themselves and tying up not only my resources but the resources of the media that would do better covering legitimate stories instead of a bunch of airheads running around out there….

Quite clearly some of these characters so favored by the paparazzi are clearly in need of services. Not police services, but psychiatric services.

– source

Can I get an Amen?!?!?!? Of course Britney won’t ever hear of this because the only TV or newspaper she watches is most likely QVC, and then only when she’s so hopped up on Benadryl and meth that the freaking Easter Bunny could come in and poop in the kitchen and she’d be okay with it. And yes, I know that didn’t make much sense, but I’m still so verklempt over what this guy said that I think I’ve been rendered temporarily snarkless.

Okay, it’s back. Next! Janet Jackson’s new album has been leaked.

Please Stop Putting Out Such Sucky Music, Janet

Her new album “Discipline” has been leaked. You can listen to it here:

Sucks? Doesn’t suck? Kinda sucks? Sucks sweaty goat balls? I don’t know. I don’t much care for JJ, mostly because hello? SHE HAS NO VOICE. She sounds like Minnie Mouse.

That’s all I got for today. Here’s a video to help you get through the night:

Subway Punk Gets Owned – Watch more free videos

YAY!! See you tomorrow morning!