I can has morning gossip? Yes, I can has morning gossip

Hello, my Snarky friends. Guess what I did this morning? I dragged my fat ass out of bed and walked FIVE MILES. Oh. My. Gawd. My legs are not happy right now, and I’m freezing my ass off because I was all sweaty and now I’m not, so I’m cold, but I’m too tired to get up and go take a hot shower, because that would involve walking, and I already told you that my legs were not happy. What ever possessed me to walk that long today. I don’t even know.

Anyway, on to the goss! First, Jennifer Lopez finally popped.

JLo Has Had Her Twins!

Yep, she had them early this morning. The girl came first weighing close to six pounds, and then the boy came about 15 minutes later, weighing exactly six pounds. Seriously, for twins, that is HUGE. She had to be incredibly uncomfortable there at the end. Both mom and babies are doing just fine, no names announced yet. - source

Next: Tori Spelling is planning on writing a tell-all about her years at Beverly Hills 90210.

Dish the Dirt, Tori!

Apparently Tori Spelling has nothing better to do, so she’s writing a tell-all memoir about her life. Here’s a few snippets:

Tori….on why she wrote an autobiography:
“I spent so many years in the media having people tell stories about my life, so I figured I might as well tell the true stories about my life this time. Nobody’s read it! Not even [my husband] Dean!”
On Brian Austen Green, aka Megan Fox’s fiancee:
“I had an insta-crush on Brian Austen Green. Brian was the only guy on the show my age. We had something going over the years we worked together. We were always fighting, making up, having fun and hating each other. We were just young.”
On Luke Perry:
“As for Luke Perry, he called me ‘Camel’ because I had long eyelashes. Trust me, Luke Perry can call you ‘Camel’ and make it sexy.”
On Shannen Doherty:
“Shannen had everything, but she could be arrogant and carefree. Jennie [Garth] was outspoken when she thought Shannen was out of line. Sometimes they got along, but there were explosions. Once they got into a fistfight.”
“A night with [Shannen] meant going to the hottest club and drinking until the early hours. I knew she was a ‘bad influence,’ but I liked her anyway.”

- source

Oh, honey - I don’t think he called you “Camel” because of your eyelashes. I think it was more because of this:

I’m thinking that Luke Perry is kind of a jerk. Or really, really smart.

Next! Remember this lovely lady?

Tonya Harding RETURNS!!!

Well, she’s BACK - and with her own rock opera! No, seriously, I’m not kidding. It’s running in Portland, Oregon, all this week and you can go if you really want to. Here’s a little bit of loveliness from Tonya herself, just to brighten up your day:

Not much else is going on today, let’s see:

• Fergie goes to the Versace show
• Hayden Panettiere is the new Candies girl
• Lindsay Lohan at the Dolce and Gabbana show
• Full trailer for Sex and the City is out
• Brad and Angelina’s adoption of Pax is finally official

That’s it till this afternoon, guys - until then, I leave you with this:

Things that make you go hmmm, yeah? Talk to you later!