Now You Too Can Have Britney Spears Furniture

April 8, 2008 by Wendy Boswell  

Let me tell you what kind of furniture I have in my house right now:

  • Milk crates
  • Garage sale couch
  • Ikea!

However, my dreams have come true with the announcement that Britney Spears has put down the crack pipe long enough to….wait for it…..start her own furniture line. Yes, it’s true - now you too can have your very own Cheeto-stained couch straight from the Britney Spears Quality Furniture Factory:

Spies say Spears pere is in talks with Danish celebrity broker Claus Hjelmbak to “bring Danish accent pieces to the United States . . . Britney will be the face of the brand.” The insider tells us that Hjelmbak and Jamie Spears have been working out the deal for more than two months. Hjelmbak and Britney met at the Scandinavian Style Mansion back in December 2007, when Britney was reportedly paid $1 million to celebrate her birthday at the event, hosted by Sharon Stone.

JAYSUS. Yeah, like anyone is going to be buying this shiznit? “Welcome to my home, and why yes! That IS an original Britney Spears! What gave it away…..the Red Bull trim? the shaved cooch highlights? Oh, I know! It HAD to be the subtle smell of FAIL.”

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Comments

2 Responses to “Now You Too Can Have Britney Spears Furniture”
  1. brak says:

    jeez, check out Sam Lufti’s eyes in the pic above–he sure looks a little high or something.

  2. Cherie says:

    Do the Danish folks not get American TV? Do they not know the can of crazy they are about to open on their lovely brand?

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