Saturday Stinky Linkies
OMG you guys. It’s Memorial Day weekend here in the states, and guess what I’m doing? Chores. Yes. While the rest of the free world is off boating and bbqing, I’m stuck cleaning the freaking house because some yayhoos MIGHT be coming to see it. MIGHT. Dammit. Stupid house for sale.
Anyway, there’s like no gossip today, unless you want to hear about how pregnant Angelina Jolie is. Which, actually, I don’t mind if you do, because Angelina and I are LIKE THIS. We share a special bond. But I’m going to give her a bit of a break today, and instead, I’m going to show you the dark underbelly of the Interwebs. Whoooooooooooo! Scary!
Lilly Allen is Topless: Does she have nice boobies? I honestly am not a good judge of these things.
Kat Von D has awesome tattoos: I love women with tats. I’ve always wanted to get one, like maybe of the Avenging Angel of Death on my forearm with little baby Satans flying around juggling human heads. Mom would love that.
Sharon Stone flashes her cooch: Oh, I’m sorry, but there is NO WAY she didn’t know she wasn’t airing out her mysterious lady parts here. You just don’t accidentally show someone the goods - there’s always an ulterior motive involved.
John McCain informs Ellen that he doesn’t care for the gay:
He’s a nice guy, but I’m afraid that he’s going to keel over any second. I get nervous watching him.
Jodie Foster is cheating on her longtime partner: For those of you that don’t know, Jodie Foster is gay, and has been with Cyndy Bernard for like a million years. Apparently she’s stepping out on her. Personally, I would be afraid of Jodie going nuts on me, Clarice Starling style. “It puts the lotion on its skin, or else it gets the hose again!” You know the drill.
Top Ten Celebrity Douchebags: I agree with every single person on this list. And I also agree that saying the word “douchebags” is quite fun; it makes me feel very naughty.
When Thong is Wrong: OMG! The thong with the muffin top is the best; you just want to go and start spraying them down with Raid or something, they just look so nasty.
Crazy Hitchhiker: Would you pick this guy up?
The World’s Largest Boobies (Natural):
SWEET SEVEN POUND 9 OUNCE BABY JEBUS. Can you imagine how bad her back hurts at night? She must wheel those things around in a wheelbarrow or something. Good God.
Ghost Granny: This seriously scared the crap out of me. I just got up and locked all the doors and I’m hugging my cat. Damm.
And Finally! What’s your porn star name? Mine is Spanky Bottoms. Which is surprisingly appropriate.
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Your Adult Film Star Name Is… |
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I love you, my cute little Snarkarinos. If you came over right now, I would fix you waffles.
Tags: , ellen, ellen gay marriage, jodie-foster, john mccain, kat von d, kat von d tattoos, lilly allen naked, sharon-stone-nakedRelated Stories
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