Jessica Simpson is selling sexy underwear now
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Is it me, or is Jessica Simpson starting to look like a Dynasty character? I just expect her to start showing up everywhere with huge shoulderpads and start slapping a ho into a goldfish pond. Krystal!
Anywho, everyone’s favorite little untalented divorcee is now selling underpants. I don’t know why, she just is. You know that these puppies are going to be up on eBay within like five minutes, right? And some horndog in Minnesota is going to buy them, defile them, and tack them up on his wall right next to the full-size poster of Fall Out Boy. Mark my words.
Jessica says that her underpants are for girls who “like different lingerie for different occasions. I think that’s the best thing about it. You can feel sexy or girly depending on your mood.” (source) How about the occasion where I laughed so hard at that MechaBarbra episode of “South Park” that I peed my pants….do you have a set of lingerie for that particular occasion? Or maybe the occasion in which I ate an entire box of Peanut Butter Patties and blamed it on the dog - is there an underpants that might fit that one? No? You fail, Jessica. You fail.
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POSTED IN: Awkward Moments
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