Jessica Simpson wants a rich – I mean, INTELLECTUAL – man

Oh, Jessica Simpson. You make it too easy, sweet cheeks.

In a recent interview with ‘Extra’, Jessica decided that she would do a little matchmaking. FOR HERSELF. Here’s her idea of the perfect guy:

“I definitely love a spiritual man — somebody that is going to always inspire me……I don’t want to get bored. I can bore out pretty easily, so I love intellectual men … people that will always keep me intrigued.”

See what I mean? It’s like shooting ducks in a barrel here. Let’s see, where should I start….okay, first, the word “intellectual” means smart, not Rich Sugar Daddy, you might’ve gotten confused and that’s okay. Secondly, why would you look for a mate that was the complete opposite of you in every way? Smart, inspiring, and intriguing do not match airhead, depressing, and completely boring, honey chile.

Oh, and seriously, it’s amazing that she says she likes “intellectual men” when you consider the mental GIANTS she’s dated/married: Nick Lachey, John Meyer, Tony Romo…yeah, none of these guys are going to be up for the Nobel Prize anytime soon. Smart guys aren’t going to date bimbos – they might sleep with them, but they’re not going to establish a serious relationship with them. What’s to establish? Someone who thinks “chicken of the sea” means literally “chicken of the sea” is not coming home to Mama. Oh, Jess. Stop giving interviews to magazines and go back to school – you know, that place where you go for some high-falutin’ edumacation!