SQWEEEEE! Okay, so if you are a fan of Patricia Cornwell’s Scarpetta series, you will LOVE this news: Angelina Jolie has signed on to play the famous forensic scientist in an adaptation of the books. Now, there are 16 Scarpetta novels in all, and I guess this movie isn’t based on one specific novel, but who cares? It’s KAY SCARPETTA!!! And Angelina Jolie! My head might explode!!!

Billy Bob Thornton is a brilliant actor, but he’s not always the nicest of fellas. In fact, he’s kind of a horse’s ass sometimes, as you’ll see from this video in which he gives a interview to CBC. First, he doesn’t want to be called an actor (why? that makes no sense), doesn’t respond to questions about his band, acts like a COMPLETE jackass when introduced as an Oscar winning actor and director, and so on. I’m hoping this was just an off day, but he serioulsy needs to apologize - I mean, maybe he just couldn’t get that corncob out of his butt. That’s okay, we all have days like that.

Let’s all just sit down and admit to ourselves that we want to be adopted by Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. There’s no shame in that. Nobody’s going to judge you. Just get it out, it’ll feel good. Ahhhhh…..relief.

Now that we’ve got that monkey at least temporarily off our collective backs, guess what? The First Couple of Hollywood is reportedly going to adopt another baby, and surprisingly enough IT’S NOT ME. I guess Santa and Jesus must have misheard me or something? Anyway, Angie met one of the child stars of “Slumdog Millionaire” at the Oscars and confided in her that they were going to adopt another tax deduction from India. Pretty soon they’re going to have their own little United Nations, they could invade other countries and air-drop care packages. I’d sign up, how about you? Shoot, I’d be on that so fast, so would you, don’t lie. Baby Jesus cries when you lie about Papa Brad and Mama Angie. Remember, this is a safe place - you can crush on those two and their bajillion kids all you want without judgement. Well, there’ll be a LITTLE judgement - nobody’s perfect!

O noes! Super mama Angelina Jolie has been arrested…..in a movie role, that is. HA! Gotcha. Yes, I’m lame.

Anyway, my BFF Angie is doing scenes for her new spy movie “Salt” and she filmed the arrested scene today. As you can see.

One of the most under-appreciated actors of all time, Liev Schreiber, is filming a spy movie called “Salt” with one of my favorite actresses, Angelina Jolie. The two of them filmed some scenes in midtown Manhattan this week, Liev taking some time to cuddle with his older son Alexander by partner Naomi Watts.

Also, I would like to know how Angie gets that skinny after having those kids. Seriously. I suppose it has something to do with not eating 15 cocktail weeners for dinner, but let’s just stay on the subject, shall we?

image Bauer Griffin

Now this is kind of a cute piece of news. Apparently Katie Holmes invited Angelina Jolie over for tea and cupcakes - the girls, that is - Suri, Shiloh, and Zahara.

I think this could be super cute, don’t you? I love tea parties, except for the fact that I don’t really like tea. I do enjoy all the little pastries and sandwiches, etc. that go with a tea party, and the gossip, and that it’s all girls, so you can talk about girly things like cramps and pimples and how long your labor was and how that epidural JUST WASN’T WORKING.

But I think that a tea party with these ladies might be more interesting, don’t you think? The husband/live-in partner conversation fodder alone would be memorable. I mean, come on….how tempted would you be to ask Angie about Brad, and Katie about Tom? I’d love to be a fly on that wall. And yet, I wonder, really, what they are going to talk about. Katie’s film career hasn’t been that memorable (to say the least) and Angelina’s is basically on fiyah. FIYAH. Oh, well - Katie will always have this:

Now, this sounds like a fun outing! Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie took the four older kiddos to see “The Little Mermaid” on Broadway yesterday. That’s Shiloh, 2, Zahara, 4, Pax, 5, and Maddox, 7. The twins, Vivienne and Knox, both seven months, sat this one out (I’ve taken babies and toddlers to the theater before. Not fun. Especially when they pee through their nappies on you, which has happened to me TWICE.).

Brad carries Shiloh

Angelina carries Zahara, with Pax to her right

Speaking of Angelina Jolie, she and Brad snubbed Ryan Seacrest yet again at the Oscars this past Sunday. This is turning into pretty much a regular event! I think basically they just don’t like the guy. Here’s the video:

What do you think - did Brad blow Ryan off? I think he was just in a hurry to get going, that’s all. Nob big deal. Angelina’s next project is called “Salt“, with Liev Schreiber, and it sounds pretty dang good: she plays a CIA agent who is fingered as a Russian spy, who must clear her name and find the real culprit. However, don’t plan on seeing Angie making too many movies all at once; she said today that she’s definitely got other priorities in mind:

“I’m ready to do a few things now and fade away and get ready to be a grandma one day,” she said. “So I’m not so worried that I want to keep this pace up and try to be a celebrity and a successful actress forever.”

Yep! I think she’s got her head on straight, don’t you?

image: Bauer Griffin

Brad Pitt pictured above with partner Angelina Jolie at the Orange British Academy Film Awards 2009 at the Royal Opera House has a new movie project coming out called “Inglourious Basterds”, and the trailer has just come out, and……

Ooh, ooh, OOH this looks so good! Okay, so here’s the story behind “Inglourious Basterds ” from IMDB:

During World War II a group of Jewish-American soldiers known as “The Basterds” are chosen specifically to spread fear throughout the Third Reich by scalping and brutally killing Nazis. The Basterds soon cross paths with a French-Jewish teenage girl who runs a movie theater in Paris which is targeted by the soldiers.

The film is written and directed by Quentin Tarantino, and so it’s going to be a little bloody. Okay, a LOT bloody. Brad plays the title character of Lt. Aldo Raine, and the rest of the cast looks fantastic as well. Here’s the trailer:

Okay, seeing these chubby widdle squishy babies almost makes me want to have another one. Don’t you want to just eat up that baby goodness? Ooh, my ovaries are literally jumping up and flipping around, it’s quite uncomfortable. I really need to stop now.

Oh my goodness, but I have a TON of gorgeous photos for you from last night’s SAG Awards. Grab something to drink and prop your feet up, my friends:

Paula Abdul looking gorgeous in red

One of my new favorites, Amy Adams

Christina Applegate in an off the shoulder gown

Alec Baldwin

Emily Blunt

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