PICAPP CODE
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This is what’s called a “shotgun wedding”, kids. Having just tied the know with Pete “I’m Really Not Gay” Wentz, Ashlee Simpson is officially confirming the happy and joyous news that yes, she is indeed sperminated. Here’s her statement:

“While many have speculated about this, we wanted to wait until after the first trimester to officially confirm that we are expecting our first child,” said a statement Wednesday on Wentz’s blog. “This is truly the most joyous time in our lives and we are excited to share the happy news and start our family.” - source

Awww! Here, wipe away that happy tear. Do you think that Daddy will teach him how to apply guyliner? Maybe they’ll find some black skinny jeans in size 18 months for the little boy or girl. They’d better watch out though; Auntie Jessica might finally lose it and just eat that baby. I can tell by just looking at her she’s about to spring forth into some seriously demented shizznit.

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Joe Simpson, father of Ashlee and Jessica, is your basic dad: loves his kids and wants the best for them….as long as that best means loads of money for his bank account. His newest completely tacky faux pas? Shopping around pictures of his daughter Ashlee for $1 million, now that she’s engaged and possibly pregnant. However, nobody’s really interested, at least for that amount of money, and there are grumbles that this surprise “pregnancy” and engagement are suspiciously close to her new album, “BitterSweet World”, dropping next week.

Lots and lots of rumors going around that Ashlee Simpson is knocked up by boyfriend Pete Wentz. Even a confirmation from US Weekly, which is like saying a confirmation from my butt. Which is actually quite credible. “We are thrilled to confirm their engagement and congratulate this happy couple,” a spokesperson for the couple told Us. “Beyond that there is nothing to say.” Oh, there’s PLENTY to say!! But I’ll leave it at this - watch for Auntie Jessica sweetie, because girl is CUHRAZY. Wear a helmet at all times, I kid you not.

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Yay! They certainly will save some big money on skinny jeans and black eyeliner, right?

Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz are officially engaged; here’s what they had to say about it:

“Yes, we are thrilled to share that we are happily engaged. Thank you for all of your support and well wishes — it means the world to us.

I’m sure Jessica Simpson is “thrilled” too….this is only going to mean extra sessions with her Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo voodoo dolls, folks.