OMG - this impersonator is better than the real Britney Spears! Here he/she is performing Britney Spears’ Toxic:

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Hey, you cute little Snarkarinos, you. Guess what I’m doing right now…..no, I’m NOT eating a whole box of donuts while watching my “Sex and the City” DVD’s, but that sounds a helluva lot better than what I’ve really got going on, which is sitting with a heating pad turned to BURN on my neck, a weird donut shape pillow around my face, and three ultra-strength muscle relaxants. Guys, I tweaked my neck BUT GOOD. I’m contemplating taking another Tylenol Extra Strength but I think I might, you know, bust my liver or something.

Anyhoodles! Supernanny star Jo Frost is offering her parenting expertise to Britney Spears basically so she can stop embarrassing herself and keep her boys from hating her when they get older.Well, at least hate her TOO much. How much do you love Jo Frost? I don’t have rotten kids (most of the time) or I would so have her over to my house, just to see her put somebody in the Naughty Chair. I love that freaking Naughty Chair! Here’s an example of how badass Jo Frost is:

Seriously, I would be hard pressed to not beat the living daylights lovingly disclipline that kid. She really should look into some Children’s Benadryl. Just sayin’.

Remember these two lovebirds?

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Seems as if Britney and Kevin are getting a little on the side. Basically, here’s how it works: Britney calls Kevin about some kid-related thing, and the talk veers off into Sexy Land, with a side trip to Freaky Naughty. However, I *am* a bit concerned about all this, because phone sex to Britney probably means that she’s literally having sex with the phone. Word to the wise: if you see a crusty looking cell on eBay for cheap? PASS.

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Rumor has it that Britney Spears might be inking a representation deal with Bally’s Fitness clubs. She’s working out at her local facility two or three times a day (no kids and no career, so what the hell else does she have to do, right?) with a Bally’s trainer.

I dunno - pretty much anything that Britney puts her hands to these days turns to shiznit, so Bally’s better watch out. I wouldn’t personally purchase anything that Cooch Girl was endorsing, but that’s just me!

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That Britney! Always something happening, never a dull moment. Well, this weekend Brit Brit apparently was drunk and stoned lost her concentration and drove her Mercedes right into the car in front of her, causing a three car fender bender. What a ditz. Nobody was hurt, and Britney has yet another “did I do that?!?!?” moment on her bedpost.