Okay, so SNL needs to hire Justin Timberlake as a fulltime cast member already. He is HILARIOUS! Heck, he’s funnier than most of the actual cast 95% of the time! So this Saturday, he starred in a couple of extremely funny skits, including this one where he admitted that he DID sleep with Britney Spears; I know, like we didn’t already know that, right? Here’s the clip:

And here’s the hilariously funny “MotherLover” in honor of Mother’s Day:

So Britney Spears has a little list of items she wants in her room during her tour in London, and surprisingly enough, they’re really not that bad. I was expecting something like a portable Wal-Mart with aisles full of Cheetos and Turkey Jerky. Maybe some duffle bags stuffed with mullet babies? Well, anyway, here they are:

A room that has never been smoked in, humidifiers in all areas, 100 watt bulb lighting and a selection of fresh flowers that she will arrange herself…..a variety of the latest magazines, DVDs featuring Marilyn Monroe and a selection of topical, chick-lit books. Running routes through nearby Hyde Park and horse riding opportunities are also thought to have been requested, along with a selection of different routes from the hotel to the arena in order to keep the paparazzi away….Spears will be bringing her own pillows for comfort, security will sleep outside her hotel door and she wants tickets for various West End shows and a private visit to Kensington Palace.

Okay, well, the private visit to Kensington Palace is a little over the top, but other than that, it’s quite reasonable. I still think she just wants duffel bags full of mullet babies, though.

Whoops! A VERY excited Britney Spears fan jumped up on stage during her concert and started dancing with her; she didn’t look like she knew what was going on, honestly. Maybe she thought it was part of her act? Like a little surprise? Maybe she thought he was there to give her some Cheetos, a Frappucino, and a new set of hair extensions?

Let’s face it: if YOU were one of Britney Spears’ hair extensions, wouldn’t you try to take the first opportunity you had to head for the hills? Well, you’re not alone in thinking that, because here’s a video from a recent concert showing that naughty extension trying to sneak away:

O noes! Jamie Lynn Spears baby daddy Casey Aldridge has been seriously injured in a car accident. Apparently he has a cracked skull and has been fading in and out of consciousness; Jamie Lynn and his sister are right there holding a vigil and singing “Kum Ba Yah” (too soon?). Anyway, doctors expect that he’ll be fine; it’s less serious that they originally thought. Get well soon Casey!

Lawsie Mercy. On the Ryan Seacrest show yesterday, Ryan said that he “heard from a reliable source” that Britney Spears is PREGNANT. Hopefully it’s just a food baby, right? I mean, who could be the daddy here:

• Kevin Federline
• Random bodyguards
• Another backup dancer (ironic)

Here’s hoping that she is NOT pregnant, she is definitely not mama material and is kept FAR away from the kids she already has. Plus, Ryan is kind of a, well, he’s kind of a girlie man, know what I’m sayin’? I HIGHLY doubt that he has a “reliable source” close to Britney, as you can see from this quote:

She’s absolutely not pregnant,” one of Spears’ managers, Adam Leber, tells us. “I have no idea where this ridiculous rumor came from. Ryan has communication with our camp and could have checked this before saying it.”

I do believe that Ryan got himself SPANKED! Hopefully that will teach him to stop making crap up just for ratings!

In a concert this week for part of Britney Spears’ “Circus” tour in Vancouver, some of those naughty Canadians were smoking WEED. The Mary Jane! The Marijuana! The WACKY TOBACKKY!

Yes, it’s true, and apparently these happy potheads were generating so much smoke that Miss Thang actually walked off the stage and said a few choice words. She came back a HALF HOUR later, performed a couple of songs, and left again flipping everyone off. Yeah, I think maybe should could have benefited from a few tokes on the Mellow Yellow, know what I’m saying? Nobody likes an angry pop princess!

Good news for Britney Spears and family; a judge today granted a three year restraining order against former boyfriend Adnan Ghalib, who basically was a big poo poo head, thus the restraining order. Not only did this guy push Britney around and make her do a whole bunch of stupid stuff, he also is under investigation for various felony charges, including assault with a deadly weapon, for an incident in which he allegedly hit a process server trying to deliver documents in the restraining order case.

Sounds like a peach of a guy! The restraining order is good until March 2012.

Well, we’re due for one, don’t you think? It’s been a while since we had a good ole fashioned Britney Spears crotch sighting. This one is especially interesting because she knows it’s going on….well, shoot. I’m not explaining myself very well. Okay: she was doing her concert thing, and when the song was over, BritBrit didn’t realize her mic was off and said LOUDLY “Mah p*ssy was hanging out!” Uh huh, I AM NOT KIDDING YOU! Here, watch the video:

Oh this is about the best thing I’ve ever seen. I’ve watched it like five times and it gets better each time. You can see what she means by going over here and seeing how her costume is, uh, cutting into her nether parts. Owie. And just for the record, remember when concerts were like CONCERTS and not just a big strip club? Crazy, I know, but don’t you usually go to concerts to hear people sing?

Well, after a hard night of dealing with a MAJOR camel toe, Britney took it poolside. But wait - what is she doing in this picture? Something classy, like knitting a sweater for orphans, baking bread for Grandma, or writing a letter to a soldier? Oh, no. Not our Britney! No.

You can say one thing for Miss Spears: she is consistent.

image: bauer-griffin

For Pete’s sake, I stop paying attention to Britney Spears for five seconds and this is what happens? Oy vey. Okay, so here’s the scoop. Yesterday, Britney’s dad testified that Sam Lufti, Brit’s former manager, ground medication into his daughter’s food and stated that he basically was a big poo poo head and a danger to the family in general. Adnan Ghalib, a former boyfriend, also is named in the restraining order, along with a attorney:
Jamie Spears and various attorneys are seeking a lengthy restraining order against Lutfi, Ghalib and attorney Jon Eardley . They claim the trio has tried to sabotage a court-ordered conservatorship that granted Jamie’s control over his 27-year-old daughter’s personal and financial affairs, which began a year ago.

Ay yi yi. Hit me baby one more time because you DRIVE ME CRAZY. Well, it sounds like she’s targeting the right people to keep away from her, you know what I mean? Speaking of teh crazy, Mel Gibson explained finally this week why he decided to reach out to Britney when she was having one of her multiple nervous breakdowns. Here’s what he had to say (don’t mind the old-timey whiskers, folks - I promise he’s not going to sell you some liniment or some folk remedy):

“Well, she’s a nice kid… She was just going through a rough patch, so I figured… you look around and you see kids that, you know, in the industry and poor Heath,” Gibson said. “I just felt like this poor kid, she’s lining up to be stoned. The press was going at her and everything. I just thought, ‘I wonder if anyone is actually reaching out to her,’ so I just called her and she’s doing great now.” I wonder how that phone call went, don’t you? Lots of giggling, I’m sure. Maybe some discussion of where they’re going on vacation. And then you just KNOW they started singing all the songs from “high School Musical” together. We’re all in this together!