Rumors are flying that Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony will be calling it quits after Valentines Day this year. The couple, who have been married for about four years, have ten month old twins and by all accounts have been doing just fine. However, the rumor mill is busily churning out stories of naughty hijinks: Marc partying with friends at nightclubs without his wedding ring on, Jennifer showing up at premieres and parties looking muy caliente without HER wedding ring on. Not much to go on as yet, but seeing as neither of these two characters have much of a track record in the monogamy department, I wouldn’t be surprised if the rumors are actually true.

Singer and actress (that one is a stretch, but let’s keep going) Jennifer Lopez has given a candid interview in which she talks about her nervous breakdown (who knew?), Scientology (she’s a big fan), and the twins (no breastfeeding). Here’s an excerpt:

On the breakdown
“Right away they want to give you pills. But I have never liked the idea of pills and kept saying no to that and just kept asking what was wrong with me. ‘I’ll tell you what’s wrong,’ the doctor said. ‘You’re sleep deprived. You’re overworked. Go home and go to bed.’ He told me to go back to work on Monday after a weekend of sleeping because if I waited longer that I would only get more panicked about working. So that’s what I did. I’ve still never been to a shrink. I’m not a shrinky person.”
On Scientology
“I do know a lot about Scientology. And I know about the practices. I know all about what the technology is and all that kind of stuff. It’s very helpful. So in a sense, yeah, you do call on it.”
On school for the twins
“Yeah. I wouldn’t mind. Not at all. Because I know that the technologies that they have are very helpful…It’s all about communication. That’s the thing I really don’t like about talking about this. I do know so many great people who do do it, who choose it as a lifestyle and really follow it and it is their religion…I just wish that people wouldn’t judge it without knowing what it is.”

You can read the rest of the interview here.

Jennifer Lopez, who just had her twins Max and Emme four months ago, is actually training to compete in a triathlon. Now THAT’S a fitness goal!! She appeared on Good Morning America this morning to talk about it, and here are the pictures. I love how she’s very natural looking, not stick-thin and bony like a lot of these other celebs who look like they need a few hot meals, maybe some force feeding.

Pics!

More Jennifer Lopez after the jump: Read more

Image details: Christian Dior Cruise 2009 Collection - Backstage served by picapp.com

Aww, why so sad Jenny From The Block? What? What was that? Your nanny quit and now you and Skeletor Marc are going to take care of the babies all by yourself? Oh. I see. Well, here’s a couple of things you might want to know:

• Babies poop. A lot. You’ll have to clean that up. And no, the garden hose is not a good idea.
• Babies also cry a lot. Merely turning up your copy of “The Best of Menudo” will not calm them down.
• Basically, you’re screwed. I’d come over and help but I think you need to learn from this experience.

Apparently JLo is going to take a year off from releasing crappy Spanglish music albums and take care of the wee kinder by her own damn self. Yeah, I’m not joking. I think maybe she got into Marc’s methadone or something, because obviously this is a joke and she’s not thinking clearly. Although she could surprise us all and have the kids writing the sequel to “War and Peace” within six months while writing up the cure for cancer.

So this morning, I was looking for cheapo skin products on Amazon, and somehow I got funneled into the food products section, and when you type “skin” into the search box, well, this is what comes up. I don’t know if this is Amazon making a personal statement to me, or what, but either way, I’m kind of grossed out right now.

On to the goss! First, baby names of Jlo are revealed.

Hey BABY!!!!

“Baby, I love you……”

The names of JLo’s Babies?

The new parents welcomed their son and daughter on Feb. 22. Emme was born at 12:12 a.m. and weighed 5 lbs. 7 oz., and Max followed at 12:23 a.m., weighing 6 lbs.

- source

Cute, eh? Next: what’s up with Barack and Hilary?

Sexual Tension in the Democratic Party?

O noes! I see some kissin!

Really, I’m loving this video. Because I kind of agree with it non-ironically.

Next: Another normal day for Britney Spears.

SHUT THE F*** UP!

Here’s Britney having a quiet moment of decorum and grace with her bodyguard.
She’s such an embodiment of class, isn’t she?

And speaking of class:

Tonya Harding Shows Her Classy Side

Just watch - but be careful, you might get sucked into the Harding Vortex. Whatever that means.
Wow - personally I’d be scared she’d take a bat to my kneecap. Not that she would know how to do that or anything.

That’s about it for today; stay classy Snarkarinos!

Okay. I’m going to give probably way TMI here, but I’ll spare you the really gory details. Last night, I ate orange chicken from a place that rhymes with Manda Rexpress. Also some fried shrimp thingies. However, I’ve only been feeding my body fruits, veggies, whole grains, and good stuff for a while now, so guess what? IT TURNED ON ME WITH A VENGEANCE. Let’s just say that at 2 AM you can find some really freaky television, including that one alien movie with DB Sweeney where he gets abducted and gets the living shiznit probed out of him? Remember that one?

Okay, on to the goss! First, Mike Myers finally has a new movie out and it looks great.

The Love Guru

The movie is about a love guru (Mike Myers) and he gets people back together. Or something. I don’t know, but it looks really funny. I love Mike Myers.

Next! Kate Beckinsale has a weird name for her mysterious lady parts.

You said what now Kate?

So we all probably have a fun name for our nether regions, right? Well, Kate Beckinsale is sharing hers:

“I’ve only ever had about three boyfriends. Only a handful of people have seen into the Pharaoh’s Tomb… My best feature is unfortunately a private matter, although I’m told it is spectacular. But you can’t really walk it down the red carpet. What can I say?”

- source

Okay, fair enough. But when you think of a Pharoh’s Tomb, you usually think sandy, dried up, and empty, which is most likely not the impression Kate wants to give. What do you call your Mr. or Mrs. Happy? Come on, I won’t tell. (leave your answer in the comments kthxbai)

Next! Angelina Jolie has written another thoughtful editorial.

I Didn’t Think I Could Love Angelina Jolie Anymore, But….

I have such a girlcrush on Miss Angiepants. Here’s a snippet from her latest editorial in the Washington Post:

What we cannot afford, in my view, is to squander the progress that has been made. In fact, we should step up our financial and material assistance. UNHCR has appealed for $261 million this year to provide for refugees and internally displaced persons. That is not a small amount of money — but it is less than the U.S. spends each day to fight the war in Iraq. I would like to call on each of the presidential candidates and congressional leaders to announce a comprehensive refugee plan with a specific timeline and budget as part of their Iraq strategy.

- source

Brad Pitt is a lucky man.

Next! Reese Witherspoon on the Ellen Show.

Reese Is Too Cute for Words

I love Reese Witherspoon - she’s a great actress, seems like a good mom, and she gets to boink Jake Gyllenhaal. Okay, maybe that last part I don’t like because technically Jake is my boyfriend, but I digress. Here she is on the Ellen Show talking about parenting, garbage, and Polaroids:

She just seems like someone you could hang out and shoot the breeze with, doesn’t she? Me likey.

Next! How much did JLo spend to poop out her spawn?

Jennifer Lopez Is Really, Really Rich. Okay?

If you’ve had a baby, you probably spent tops $5k unless there were complications. Guess how much Jlo spent for her birth? Just read:

Jennifer Lopez has spent a whopping $1.4 million for her twins` birth.

According to reports, the new mom made sure her diva demands were met by spending the staggering amount. Sources says Lopez, who delivered a boy and a girl at North Shore University Hospital in New York on February 22, shelled out $700,000 to reserve the lavish birthing suite at the hospital.

She also spent $175,000 per week for the suit, which had been reserved for three weeks even before she checked in. The birthing suite has a large Apple computer monitor, private kitchen, two flat-screen TVs, and white couches. The 38-year-old singer/actress and her husband, Marc Anthony, paid another $300,000 for the private doctors and nurses, $300,000 for the security, and $100,000 for the personal assistants. According to In Touch magazine, an insider had heard that Lopez called her newborns Maximiano and Emelina.

Exqueeze me? Baking powder? I think those white couches are the best touch; they’re just perfect for catching the spatters of what-have-you. And heck, good thing she had a computer there because God knows you want to check frigging YouTube inbetween contractions. >>rolls eyes<<

What else is going on today:

• Nicole Kidman drinking and pregnant?
• Paris Hilton (half) naked
• Are Rihanna and Chris Brown together?
• Brad Pitt’s new movie Tree of Life info
• Prince Harry pulled from Afghanistan

That’s it till this afternoon; I’m going to get my hair cut! I LOVEEEE getting my hair cut, makes me feel so relaxed!!

Holy crap, it’s Coco! I feel so honored that the Cocster would come to my humble little site to get her gossip on, don’t you? And if Coco is here, you KNOW it’s classy with a capital K, baby!

Okay, gossip time! First, new stuff from the new Indiana Jones movie.

Harrison Ford and Indiana Jones - thank you, baby Jebus

You can see lots of Indiana Jones pictures here: Indiana Jones pictures

Next: Tom and Katie are going to throw a big party for JLo and her new babies.

Bow Down To Your Thetan Overlords, Jennifer Lopez

Well, I told you earlier this week that Jennifer Lopez finally popped out those puppies, right? Now Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes want to throw them a $195k baby party. Yep, you read that right: $195,000. I’m guessing that the guests of honor will be Tom, Katie, JLo and L. Ron Hubbard, with maybe a surprise visit from Oprah. Cripes, can you imagine what they could with that money that WASN’T so overbearing and ostentatious? A helluva lot of good. - via MSN

Next: Christina Aguilera is really creeping me out with the ginormous boobages.

We Know You Have Large Breasts, Christina - Stop It Already

Hey, guess what? CHRISTINA IS NURSING, if you didn’t already figure that out by the humungous gazumbas staring you in the face with all their veiny goodness. I don’t know about you, but I don’t feel the need to have a peek at what’s on tap at the Dairy Queen. - BOOBIES!

Next: somebody at V magazine really hates Gwen Stefani.

That’s about it for today. See you tomorrow, my loverlies!

Hello, my Snarky friends. Guess what I did this morning? I dragged my fat ass out of bed and walked FIVE MILES. Oh. My. Gawd. My legs are not happy right now, and I’m freezing my ass off because I was all sweaty and now I’m not, so I’m cold, but I’m too tired to get up and go take a hot shower, because that would involve walking, and I already told you that my legs were not happy. What ever possessed me to walk that long today. I don’t even know.

Anyway, on to the goss! First, Jennifer Lopez finally popped.

JLo Has Had Her Twins!

Yep, she had them early this morning. The girl came first weighing close to six pounds, and then the boy came about 15 minutes later, weighing exactly six pounds. Seriously, for twins, that is HUGE. She had to be incredibly uncomfortable there at the end. Both mom and babies are doing just fine, no names announced yet. - source

Next: Tori Spelling is planning on writing a tell-all about her years at Beverly Hills 90210.

Dish the Dirt, Tori!

Apparently Tori Spelling has nothing better to do, so she’s writing a tell-all memoir about her life. Here’s a few snippets:

Tori….on why she wrote an autobiography:
“I spent so many years in the media having people tell stories about my life, so I figured I might as well tell the true stories about my life this time. Nobody’s read it! Not even [my husband] Dean!”
On Brian Austen Green, aka Megan Fox’s fiancee:
“I had an insta-crush on Brian Austen Green. Brian was the only guy on the show my age. We had something going over the years we worked together. We were always fighting, making up, having fun and hating each other. We were just young.”
On Luke Perry:
“As for Luke Perry, he called me ‘Camel’ because I had long eyelashes. Trust me, Luke Perry can call you ‘Camel’ and make it sexy.”
On Shannen Doherty:
“Shannen had everything, but she could be arrogant and carefree. Jennie [Garth] was outspoken when she thought Shannen was out of line. Sometimes they got along, but there were explosions. Once they got into a fistfight.”
“A night with [Shannen] meant going to the hottest club and drinking until the early hours. I knew she was a ‘bad influence,’ but I liked her anyway.”

- source

Oh, honey - I don’t think he called you “Camel” because of your eyelashes. I think it was more because of this:

I’m thinking that Luke Perry is kind of a jerk. Or really, really smart.

Next! Remember this lovely lady?

Tonya Harding RETURNS!!!

Well, she’s BACK - and with her own rock opera! No, seriously, I’m not kidding. It’s running in Portland, Oregon, all this week and you can go if you really want to. Here’s a little bit of loveliness from Tonya herself, just to brighten up your day:

Not much else is going on today, let’s see:

• Fergie goes to the Versace show
• Hayden Panettiere is the new Candies girl
• Lindsay Lohan at the Dolce and Gabbana show
• Full trailer for Sex and the City is out
• Brad and Angelina’s adoption of Pax is finally official

That’s it till this afternoon, guys - until then, I leave you with this:

Things that make you go hmmm, yeah? Talk to you later!

Guess what I had for breakfast? Yep, Grape Nuts. I’m not a HUGE fan, but I like ‘em with blueberries. Gosh, I sound all organic don’t I….next I’ll be posting about my worm farm and how I make my own wine out of recycled paper.

On to the gossip! First, we get our first glimpse at Nicole Kidman’s pregnant tummy.

Yep, Nicole Kidman is Definitely Pregnant

Here she is promoting her Golden Compass disaster in Japan, wearing quite possibly what is the oddest looking dress I’ve ever laid eyes on. She’s obviously cradling her tumtum, which for most of us is what we look like normally, but for skinny Nicole, is like five months pregnant. I bet you she’s going to be one of those women whose navels pop out - that really is just something that gives me the creeps, honestly. - source

Next: Dina Lohan spouts off more of her fantastic wisdom regarding daughter Lindsay’s nudie pics.

Lindsay Lohan Naked Pictures are Art! says Dina Lohan, a Known Moron

Remember yesterday, I talked about Lindsay Lohan naked pics? Well, Dina Lohan wants us all to know that this is ART, people. ART. Here’s what she had to say:

“It was very tastefully done,” Dina tells PEOPLE of the photos… “I respect the photographer as an artist, so I look at them artistically. For him to call Lindsay 46 years later and to say can you recreate these photos is an honor. I looked at it as art, and as Lindsay doing a character. So I don’t look at them like it’s Playboy; she was being a character. So if you look at it that way, you can look at it as a mother.”

And Dina adds that had the photos been inappropriate, Lindsay’s sister Ali would not have visited the set. “Trust me,” Dina tells PEOPLE, “I wouldn’t have sent my 14-year-old to the set [if the shoot was in bad taste]. And obviously Lindsay wouldn’t do anything with her sister there, that was risqué.”

- source

OMG, does she even hear herself? Delusional much? For reals, if you’re so baldly pimping out your kid, just call it what it is and stop trying to justify yourself. It embarrasses you, it embarrasses me, and it’s hard not to giggle when you’re talking. - source

Next: Paula Abdul’s first new video since the Dark Ages.

Paula Abdul’s video “Dance Like There’s No Tomorrow”

I finally figured out what she sounds like:those cheap kid karaoke machines that make your voice sound like Hello Kitty or Bratz or something. Really, Paula, you’re NOT a singer, never have been. The 90s were just kind of lucky for you, okay?

Here’s the video:

Owwwww…ow….ears……hurting…..just quit already and get back to drunken judging. I give it a No.

Next: looks like Jlo might be popping out her spawn today.

Is today the day for Skeletor Babies?

Page Six is reporting that that JLo’s custom hospital suite at North Shore University Hospital on Long Island is finally occupied, so I am thinking this means that she will soon be pooping out some puppies. How much do you want to bet that Marc will faint at least twice, Jlo will TOTALLY make some young nurse cry, and the doctor will be completely overwhelmed at seeing La Lopez vag.

Plus, I am really jonesing for some pretty freaky baby names. How about:

I know you can get more creative than that, so get cranking.

What else is going on today…..

• Is Tom Cruise cheating on Katie Holmes?
• Paris Hilton and the worst movie ever
• Regis Philbin is a grampa
• New Dancing with the Stars lineup
• Rihanna turns 20 with a cupcake fight

Okay! So until this afternoon, I leave you with this:

This pretty much explains why Kirk never kept a girlfriend for more than one episode. Talk to you later, Snarky friends!

Jennifer Lopez has named her babies! Here we go:

Jennifer Lopez is planning to name her unborn twins Max and Emme.

The ‘Do It Well’ singer and her husband Marc Anthony are said to have chosen names for their son and daughter after J.Lo’s mother Guadalupe was seen buying engraved gold bracelets in New York.

A source told America’s Star magazine: “The day before J.Lo’s baby shower, Guadalupe picked up two gold-rope baby ID bracelets engraved with the names Max and Emme from a jewellers in New York.”

- source

I actually like those names, it’s refreshing to see celebs name their kids NORMAL stuff rather than the freakazoid stuff a lot of them decide to choose. I mean seriously, Apple?!??!