I have to admit I literally laughed out loud reading this one. I can’t decide if Nick Cannon is ignorant or really sweet. Maybe a bit of both?

Anyway, Nick wants to give wife Mariah Carey a bald eagle for her 39th birthday this Friday. Yes, this kind of bald eagle:

Or not. See, a “bald eagle” is slang for a completely shaved pubic area, so Mariah might be in for more than she bargained for. Here’s what Nick had to say:

“I think I was going to get her a bald eagle or something. Yeah, they sell them bald eagles still right?”

Yes. They sell bald eagles. I think they had a sale on bald eagles at Wal-Mart last week, I have a coupon around somewhere I can let you borrow. Just watch out for those talons, they can get tricky!

Could it be happening? Could Mariah Carey actually be pregnant with her husband Nick Cannon’s baby?

According to one source, yes! Apparently she was seen coming out of her gynecologist’s office clutching what looked to be a sonogram image in her hand, and her “entourage” of people she drags around with her started cheering. So either she’s pregnant, or she just got a REALLY good score on her Pap smear. Here’s what she has to say about babies:

“People are constantly asking me if I’m pregnant, but I don’t like to talk about it too much. I just think about it as the next phase. We’ll see.

“I’ve changed my mind about becoming a mother because I’m with The One. I think we would make good parents, and that we’d be able to figure out how to do it properly.”

- source

OK! is reporting that Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon are already having problems. With such a high-profile marriage such as theirs, it’s not that surprising, especially since they got married so dang fast. Here’s the video:

Honestly, even though I don’t care for Mariah as an artist (just not my cup of tea, although I do like her newest album), I do hope she finds happiness in love someday. I just don’t think it’s going to be with Nick, however.

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Surprise, surprise: friends are giving the unlikely pairing of Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon only six months until they are DUNZO.

Apparently, he’s been given the nickname “Whipped Nick” because he spends more time in stores with her credit cards buying her shizznit than he does with her. I’ll have to say I totally agree with this one; Mariah is too high maintenance. You know she’s got him sorting M and M’s, ironing her butterfly underpants, etc. Touch my Body!

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Well, nobody saw THIS one coming. Apparently new husband Nick Cannon has been spending wife Mariah Carey’s money like it’s going out of style, and she’s just looking on indulgently. So far, he’s bought a ton of new cars, test driven a $120,000 Maserati Quattroporte (!), and is basically shopping until he’s dropping.

Honestly, I don’t think Mariah much cares about what this guy is doing. She HAD to have known that she was just a meal ticket for him; I refuse to believe that there’s any real relationship stuff going on there. But I could be wrong. Who knows - maybe they’re having fun being “eternally 12″ together - that would be Mariah’s dream come true!

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I don’t think Mariah Carey has shown us the true extent of her craziness yet. I think we’re just looking at the tip of the iceberg, and her recent wedding to iddy biddy Nick Cannon is going to open a whole new floodgate of the crazy. Like this newest thing, for example.

Seems that Mariah wants to re-wed Nicky Wicky EVERY YEAR (what’s the point of that?) and her wedding re-do will be a $4 million affair, with 14 bridesmaids and over 2000 guests. Geez, do ya think she’s overcompensating for something? Like perhaps the fact that she’s married to someone who probably hasn’t gotten his pubes yet?

Time until Mariah Carey starts talking about her divorce on The Ellen Show? Three months and counting. Here’s Mariah gushing about her new husband Nick Cannon. I wonder if she buys his pimple cream for him, maybe some Axe body spray?

Part 1:

Part 2:

What in the hell do these two even TALK to each other about? They probably have full evenings of playing Mario Kart, watching High School Musical for the 124th time, and prank-calling Tommy Mottola.

So even though Mariah Carey thinks of herself as eternally 12 and has already mentioned she doesn’t care much for kids except for as trendy accessories, now she’s bleating about how much she wants kids with boytoy Nick Cannon. But first, here’s what she said like just three weeks ago:

“It’s hard to have kids in this world,” she told OK! magazine. “I don’t think I could properly educate a child right now. Maybe in the future, but I actually haven’t thought about it.
“For now, I enjoy my dog Jack’s company. It’s definitely because of childhood traumatic stuff. The whole not wanting to have a baby as a baby.
“I never wanted to feel violated and I know that’s a kind of weird thing to say, but that’s how I am.”

Oh, but NOW she wants kids; somehow her reproductive choices have changed:

“It’s part of the whole purpose of getting married. I just want our children to have the best childhood and upbringing they possibly could.”

Geez Louise. I can’t even really say how much this bothers me; she just needs to get a freaking dog or cat or something. ARGH.

Oprah, God bless her, showed off pictures of Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon’s wedding on her show yesterday:

I still think it was a total publicity stunt - how about you?

Okay. So I told you yesterday that Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon were supposedly an item. Apparently, they got married (this is a big rumor, I’m just reporting) in the Bahamas at Mariah’s estate there. The ring is supposedly worth 2.5 million (I’m thinking that Mariah HAD to have bought that puppy herself) and Nick’s family is supposedly supposed to be happy for him.

I am very skeptical of all of this. They have only known each other a few weeks because Nick is featured in her next video Bye Bye; plus, he’s like ten years younger then her and is mostly in the Nickolodeon crowd. I have a hard time believing that any of this is true mostly because of those reasons, but the biggest one is this: her newest album is out any minute now and I smell a huge publicity stunt. So! What do you think?

pic via splashnewsonline.com