So Billy Ray Cyrus apparently has been eating at the Stupid Snackbar a few too many times, because he seriously expects us to believe that he WAS NOT AWARE that the folks at Vanity Fair were going to strip 15 year old Miley all naked and drape her provocatively across Daddy’s lap. Uh, hello? Not all of us are slack-jawed yokels, Billy Ray. Here’s the clip of him trying to explain his way out of bad parenting on the Today Show:

And here’s what he said EXACTLY:

“I wasn’t there when that pictures was taken… I didn’t know they was gonna strip her down and wrap her with a blanket… I was surprised when I saw it … but, hey, that’s life. Stuff happens… my dad always said, ‘The more you stomp in poop, the more it stinks.’ “

Hmm. And you know what my dad always said? “Don’t pee on my shoe and tell me it’s raining.” Actually, that was Judge Judy, but you know what I mean.

Image details: 2008 CMT Music Awards - Press Room served by picapp.com

Hugh Hefner, the randy old goat, has invited Miley Cyrus to pose in Playboy. Here’s what he had to say:

“Sure, she’d be welcomed in the magazine. Very pretty lady. And I think to make such a big to do over something as innocent as those photos, I think is a reflection on how schizophrenic America is about sexuality.”

EWWWW! EWWWWWWWWWWWW! Okay, FIRST, hello? SHE’S 15 YEARS OLD. Secondly, SHE’S 15 YEARS OLD. I’m sure that Miley is just thrilled to be invited to spread her ass cheeks in Playboy; unfortunately for old Hef there, he’ll probably kick the bucket before she’s legal. Oh, well - he’s always got Kendra:

Image details: 2008 CMT Music Awards - Red Carpet served by picapp.com

Hoo WEE! Little Miley Cyrus ain’t so little anymore apparently. Acclaimed photographer Annie Leibowitz took some pics of Miley for Vanity Fair (you can see them here: Topless Miley Cyrus) and they are totally tasteful; well, except for the one where she’s sprawled half-naked across her daddy’s lap. Anyway, now Miley and parent company Disney are throwing a hissy fit saying that Miley was “deceived”, that these photos were intended to be tasteful, blah blah blah.

First of all, she’s 15. What the HELL is this little redneck Mouseketeer doing in Vanity Fair? Secondly, we can’t see any boobies (and I was really looking). Thirdly, she’s 15 and what was going through her idiot parents’ heads? Oh, I know!!!!