Just what every crazy Scientologist needs: a brand of pot named after them. Apparently, there’s a new strain of medical marijuana named “Tom Cruise Purple” that makes you see things that aren’t actually, uh, THERE. If it’s named for Tommy Boy, shouldn’t it make you jump up and down on couches, marry robotic Amazons, star in Nazi movies, and make long speeches about L.Ron Hubbard?

Aww! Now WHY is everyone always ragging on Scientology? They look like they’re having fun, singing some songs, dancing, hailing Xenu, etc. Good clean fun!

Good Monday morning to you, Snarkarinos! How are you this fine morning? Got your donut? Got your coffee? Well, here’s your morning gossip.

Apparently, and this is not that surprising, Tom Cruise actually auditioned various actresses for the role of his robotron wife. Listen to this:

Following Tom’s split from Penelope Cruz in 2004, the megastar told his BFF (and head of Scientology) David Miscavige that he was having trouble meeting women. So the church sent out a casting call that said, “There’s an upcoming Tom Cruise movie you might get a part in. Come for an audition.” There were of course restrictions: You had to be single, pretty and in your twenties.

While a few female Scientologists were rounded up — Traffic’s Erika Christensen and CSI: Miami’s Sofia Milos — they were all rejected as Tom focused his attention on bigger stars. “They went for Jennifer Garner, Scarlett Johansson and Jessica Alba, in that order,” Marc says. “Jennifer and Jessica didn’t bite but Scarlett took the bait and came in for an audition. When she arrived and found out it was the Scientology Center in Hollywood, she freaked out and didn’t do a tape…”

But Katie Holmes popped into the Scientologist’s minds because she had previously spoken out about her crush on Tom. “They got her to L.A. and introduced her to Tom. The moment he meets her, he’s enthralled with her and he told Miscavige later, “I knew immediately she was the one,” Marc says.

- source

Interesting. I wonder what exactly “enthralled” him about her….the fact that she seemingly has no mind of her own? Curious.