Cute pictures of Tom, Katie, and Suri celebrating the Fourth in Telluride, Colorado.

Image details: Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes, Conner and Suri enjoying 4th of July in Telluride served by picapp.com

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Dr. Drew is one hot biyatch. On his show yesterday, he called out Tom Cruise for being crazy:

“A lot of people in the public eye who behave strangely have mental illness we can learn from, and much of it is based on childhood trauma, without a doubt. Take a guy like Tom Cruise. Why would somebody be drawn into a cultish kind of environment like Scientology? To me, that’s a function of a very deep emptiness and suggests serious neglect in childhood - maybe some abuse, but mostly neglect.”

Wha wha whatttt???!?! Somebody better call the FBI stat, because you know the Scientologists are going to circle the wagons and bust a cap in Dr. Drew’s booty. I’m not even kidding. He’d better watch his back but good. Tom’s handlers had this to say in retaliation:

“This unqualified television performer who is obviously just looking for notoriety is so grotesquely unprofessional as to pretend to diagnose Tom and others without ever meeting them. He seems to be spewing the absurdity that all Scientologists are mentally ill. The last time we heard garbage like this was from Joseph Goebbels.”

Oh, so he’s a Nazi now? Please. Don’t these Cruise spokespeople have better things to do, like keep Katie on her meds so she doesn’t “accidentally” escape from the compound? That radio collar does eventually run out of batteries, you know. She’s just biding her time.

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So! Apparently, Tom and Kate were on the official Scientology Party Ship (yes, there is such a thing), and now they’re suspected of having asbestos poisoning. Looks like the Thetans kind of messed up on this one, don’t you think? There is a serious side to this, though, because if they DO have asbestos poisoning, they could get cancer and die.

(That would be bad.)

Here is the complete Tom Cruise on Oprah interview.

Part 1:

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Here are some excerpts from the Tom Cruise Oprah Interview, tentatively titled “See! I’m Not Crazy!”

On the Couch Jumping Incident

“When we finished that show with you jumping up on the sofa, I was like, ‘Wow. What was that?’” she tells him in an interview in his Telluride, Colo., home. “I had no idea it was going to turn into an international brouhaha, as I’m sure you did not either.”

She even confesses, “I was a little nervous coming up this morning, I have to admit, because you and I have not sat down for a real conversation since the sofa incident.”

Cruise tells Winfrey, “I just felt that way, and I feel that way about her.

“I can’t even articulate it, to be honest,” he adds. “That feeling, that connection. Just who she is and what she means to me.”

Of the negative response to his couch jumping, Cruise says, “It just kind of kept going.

“Those things I kind of go, ‘You just have to take in stride.’ It just kind of became a confluence of things.” Read more

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Katie Holmes tried to escape the compound, and now Tom Cruise is sending her to Gold Base, the Scientology compound in Hemet, CA., where Scientology campers get to do such fun stuff as purify themselves, read a whole bunch of scary Thetan nonsense, and go without sleep. Boy, doesn’t that sound like fun! Where can I sign up?

Just for kicks, here’s a satellite picture of Gold Base so you can see what you’re missing.

Okay, so Tom Cruise is going back on Oprah, apparently because we didn’t have enough slices of Crazy Pie the first time. Pundits are guessing that him and Oprah are going to shoot the shizzit about his couch jumping antics, Katie, Scientology, and the premise that DUDE IS FREAKING INSANE. Oh, and as an added bonus? He asked (*cough* threatened *cough*) a whole bunch of his “friends” to call in and tell us all how incredible amazing Tom Cruise is. So we understand that all this craziness? This hoopla? Totally irrelevant, man.

You gonna watch? It’s Maverick-approved!

Remember this?

Awww, yeah. The beginning of countless parodies, crazy talk, and quiet speculation that Tommy Boy had finally gone off his meds. Well, it’s about to happen again (hopefully they’ll have removed the offending couch) because Tom Cruise is coming back to Oprah for the first time since this infamous appearance three years ago. Apparently he’s coming up on the 25th anniversary of his role in “Risky Business”, one of the crappiest movies of the 80’s, and there’s going to be a TWO PART SPECIAL to celebrate it, with people taping messages to honor Tom for his acting skills.

I’ve got a better idea. Why don’t we just play Yahtzee and compare our cuticles? Because honestly, I think that might be more entertaining. Oprah has seriously jumped the shark. Time for girlfriend to cash it in and hole up with the Dalai Lama or something.

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Rumors are flying that Katie Holmes is absolutely fed up with Tom Cruise’s controlling ways and the unending interest in their relationship, which is why she is VERY interested in moving to New York City and taking a role in “My Three Sons”, of course, taking her daughter Suri with her.

We hear these kind of Tom and Katie breakup rumors a lot, so this is probably just another one, but who knows….maybe Katie is finally getting tired of Tom calling all the shots and drinking the Scientology Kool-Aid?

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Go Katie Go! Miss Kate has reportedly been offered a role in the Broadway revival of “My Three Sons”, and obviously would have to move to NYC for a while to do this, and obviously would have to bring her toddler daughter Suri. Well, Tommy Boy is NOT happy and apparently told her that sure, she can go, but he’s going with her. After all, what else does he have going on other than shilling for his Nazi movie and L.Ron - he’s got to fill up his time somehow. Who knows how Katie will field this one….maybe she can build a Katie and Suri clone out of Play-Doh or something. It’s a thought.