Cute pictures of Tom, Katie, and Suri celebrating the Fourth in Telluride, Colorado.

Image details: Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes, Conner and Suri enjoying 4th of July in Telluride served by picapp.com

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Image details: The Metropolitan Museum Of Art Costume Institute Annual Gala - Arrivals served by picapp.com

So! Apparently, Tom and Kate were on the official Scientology Party Ship (yes, there is such a thing), and now they’re suspected of having asbestos poisoning. Looks like the Thetans kind of messed up on this one, don’t you think? There is a serious side to this, though, because if they DO have asbestos poisoning, they could get cancer and die.

(That would be bad.)

Here is the complete Tom Cruise on Oprah interview.

Part 1:

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Here are some excerpts from the Tom Cruise Oprah Interview, tentatively titled “See! I’m Not Crazy!”

On the Couch Jumping Incident

“When we finished that show with you jumping up on the sofa, I was like, ‘Wow. What was that?’” she tells him in an interview in his Telluride, Colo., home. “I had no idea it was going to turn into an international brouhaha, as I’m sure you did not either.”

She even confesses, “I was a little nervous coming up this morning, I have to admit, because you and I have not sat down for a real conversation since the sofa incident.”

Cruise tells Winfrey, “I just felt that way, and I feel that way about her.

“I can’t even articulate it, to be honest,” he adds. “That feeling, that connection. Just who she is and what she means to me.”

Of the negative response to his couch jumping, Cruise says, “It just kind of kept going.

“Those things I kind of go, ‘You just have to take in stride.’ It just kind of became a confluence of things.” Read more

Okay, so Tom Cruise is going back on Oprah, apparently because we didn’t have enough slices of Crazy Pie the first time. Pundits are guessing that him and Oprah are going to shoot the shizzit about his couch jumping antics, Katie, Scientology, and the premise that DUDE IS FREAKING INSANE. Oh, and as an added bonus? He asked (*cough* threatened *cough*) a whole bunch of his “friends” to call in and tell us all how incredible amazing Tom Cruise is. So we understand that all this craziness? This hoopla? Totally irrelevant, man.

You gonna watch? It’s Maverick-approved!

Remember this?

Awww, yeah. The beginning of countless parodies, crazy talk, and quiet speculation that Tommy Boy had finally gone off his meds. Well, it’s about to happen again (hopefully they’ll have removed the offending couch) because Tom Cruise is coming back to Oprah for the first time since this infamous appearance three years ago. Apparently he’s coming up on the 25th anniversary of his role in “Risky Business”, one of the crappiest movies of the 80’s, and there’s going to be a TWO PART SPECIAL to celebrate it, with people taping messages to honor Tom for his acting skills.

I’ve got a better idea. Why don’t we just play Yahtzee and compare our cuticles? Because honestly, I think that might be more entertaining. Oprah has seriously jumped the shark. Time for girlfriend to cash it in and hole up with the Dalai Lama or something.

Let’s get one thing straight, Snarky Gossip fans. Tom Cruise is a serious actor, a SERIOUS person, and he does not tolerate any kind of tomfoolery. (Did you catch that? “Tomfoolery?” Oh, I slay me.)

Well, this last week, Tom Cruise was holding a moment of silence on the set of his Nazi movie for the non-Nazi victims. A very touching moment. Except, Mr. Farty Pants decided to make his diabolical entrance:

The source said Cruise decided to ask for the minute’s silence to show respect for the deceased and appease the German government, who only allowed the movie to be filmed if post-war Germany was shown in a positive light. The source added: “So for somebody to pass wind in a situation like that is unforgivable.”

Okay, yes. It was inappropriate. But it was SO AWESOME.

It gets better - apparently, Tommy Boy is going to pore through all the footage of the event, find out who tooted, and fire them. Uh, hello? You can’t fire someone for pooting! It’s natural! Better out than in, I always say. Well, here’s a video tribute for Mr. Cruise to help him get over this - I think we all know where Tom’s true loyalties lie.

source